fluff & buff

"why are your works are depressive? are you ok?" asked by a friend in class

"why your character's always tired? are you tired?" asked by a teacher

I've been doing this exercise for visiting Paris next week with my class. we'll be visiting museums and schools. while we're walking down the street and looking around and stuffs. we have this homework to do some sketches of ourself who's experienced things that really somewhat called special for us.

I know how to draw expressions, but I just don't wanna use it. I want my character to be pale and sick. then my teacher asked me, am I tired.?

I see depressed is like the most powerful feeling compare to others. I mean, not like panicky-depressed but more like silent and cold.

I found it beautiful when this character blends into some kind of noisy cheerful society. Where people speak alot, laugh and cry at the same time. instead of lying to himself, he just stays inside his blue brain, holding his two feet.

then, a friend of mine asked me why I make things depressive.
I speak with my works. doesn't mean all of my works are based on things that I've experienced. Sometimes, they're just some of my desires or stories that I make myself, so it's not always based on me.

I often make jokes of my sadness in my head (good jokes, indeed). then after, I pour them to my works. It might be photos, sketches, or whatever, things that I want to do at the moment.

for example, like the second sketch that I made there. I made a character of me being laughed at. the reason is not because I'm sad, it's because I'm glad, I'm glad that I've experienced things like this which what makes who I am today. so I sketched them, so I never forget.

I shout again.

guitar by Jeremia Yonathan

I probably should dedicate this one to myself.